EMPTY- HANDED

                                                       (jai ma kali)
                     EMPTY-HANDED
                    ....................................
  Once a grandson along with his spouse was making a jaunt to his granny's residence. His granny directed him,"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in flat no 401. There is a big panel at the front door.Jab at the push button 401with your elbow.I will buzz you in. Come inside and the lift is on right. Enter the lift and press the button 401with your elbow. When you emerge out, I am on the left. With your elbow jab at my door bell button. Okay?"
    The grandson was a tad flummoxed. He trilled," But why I have to hit all the buttons by my elbow?Why not by hand?"
   The granny exploded,"What? Are you coming empty-handed ?"
         The grandson was speechless !
..........................................................................................................

I M P R O V E M E N T

                                                       (jai ma kali)

                      I M P R O V E M E N T

                    ***********************

     Once a little colleen was sitting on her grandfather's lap who was reading her a bedtime story. From time to time she would feel her grandpa's wrinkled cheeks. She was alternately stroking her own cheeks and then his again. Finally she blurted out," Grandpa, who made you ?"

  He answered," God made me.He made me a long time ago."

   " Did God made me too?," she chimed in.

" Yes indeed, He made you just a while ago."

 Feeling their respective faces again, she crooned," God is really improving at it.Is not HE?"

     The grandpa was speechless !

SHE WAS SPEECHLESS

                                                      (jai ma kali)
           SHE WAS SPEECHLESS
         ****************************
    Once a docent was testing the children in her class whether they comprehended the concept of getting into the zion. She asked them," If I disposed off all my belongings and donated all my gelt for charity, would that get me into the zion ?"
   "No," chorused the chijdren.
Then she asked again," If I titivated the church everyday, mowed the yard and kept everything spic and span,would that make me entitled for getting into the paradise?"
 Again the answer was"No"
 The teacher was thinking her students were getting it!
  "Well,then,if I was compassionate to critters, gave candy to children, would that get me into the heaven.?, She asked again.
 Once again the answer was "No".
She was just bursting with pride for them."Well," she continued,"Then how can I get into the eden?"
   A five year old trilled," YOU HAVE TO BE DEAD."
       The docent was speechless !
*****************************************************************************
  ---------(DEVENDRA SRIVASTAVA)
**************************************************************