EMPTY- HANDED

                                                       (jai ma kali)
                     EMPTY-HANDED
                    ....................................
  Once a grandson along with his spouse was making a jaunt to his granny's residence. His granny directed him,"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in flat no 401. There is a big panel at the front door.Jab at the push button 401with your elbow.I will buzz you in. Come inside and the lift is on right. Enter the lift and press the button 401with your elbow. When you emerge out, I am on the left. With your elbow jab at my door bell button. Okay?"
    The grandson was a tad flummoxed. He trilled," But why I have to hit all the buttons by my elbow?Why not by hand?"
   The granny exploded,"What? Are you coming empty-handed ?"
         The grandson was speechless !
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I M P R O V E M E N T

                                                       (jai ma kali)

                      I M P R O V E M E N T

                    ***********************

     Once a little colleen was sitting on her grandfather's lap who was reading her a bedtime story. From time to time she would feel her grandpa's wrinkled cheeks. She was alternately stroking her own cheeks and then his again. Finally she blurted out," Grandpa, who made you ?"

  He answered," God made me.He made me a long time ago."

   " Did God made me too?," she chimed in.

" Yes indeed, He made you just a while ago."

 Feeling their respective faces again, she crooned," God is really improving at it.Is not HE?"

     The grandpa was speechless !

SHE WAS SPEECHLESS

                                                      (jai ma kali)
           SHE WAS SPEECHLESS
         ****************************
    Once a docent was testing the children in her class whether they comprehended the concept of getting into the zion. She asked them," If I disposed off all my belongings and donated all my gelt for charity, would that get me into the zion ?"
   "No," chorused the chijdren.
Then she asked again," If I titivated the church everyday, mowed the yard and kept everything spic and span,would that make me entitled for getting into the paradise?"
 Again the answer was"No"
 The teacher was thinking her students were getting it!
  "Well,then,if I was compassionate to critters, gave candy to children, would that get me into the heaven.?, She asked again.
 Once again the answer was "No".
She was just bursting with pride for them."Well," she continued,"Then how can I get into the eden?"
   A five year old trilled," YOU HAVE TO BE DEAD."
       The docent was speechless !
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  ---------(DEVENDRA SRIVASTAVA)
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INCREDIBLE LOVE

                                                             Jai Ma Kali
                    INCREDIBLE  LOVE
                   ********************
  Once I was snacking with some of my bezzies in a restaurant.I saw an old couple entering the restaurant. After occupying their seats,the hubby ordered one hamburger, a plate of spring roll and one mug of coffee.When the order was served, he halved the hamburger and placed one half in front of his spouse. He then counted the rolls, divided them into two equal parts. Then he placed one part before his wife.
   Then the man had a sip of the coffee and gave 
the cup to wife who after taking a sip, placed the cup between them.The man started to champ on his nosh.One of my bezzies whispered," Perhaps the couple is very poor. All that they can afford is one meal for the two of them."
    Feeling pity for them, I tiptoed to them and offered to cop another meal for them.The old man politely declined and said that they were just fine and used to sharing everything. We noticed that the old lady had not eaten a single morsel. She sat there watching her hubby champ and occasionally taking turns sipping coffee.
   When the old man finished and was wiping his mouth, I again approached them and asked the old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food," What is it you are waiting for?"Hearing her reply, we were all stunned, speechless and our mouths were wide open with incredible belief. Her answer was................" THE TEETH."
*********************************************(DEVENDRA SRIVASTAVA)

Satyam Shivam Sundaram: UNBELIEVABLE FAITH

Satyam Shivam Sundaram: UNBELIEVABLE FAITH:                                                    (jai ma kali)                    UNBELIEVABLE FAITH                   ****************...

UNBELIEVABLE FAITH

                                                   (jai ma kali)
                   UNBELIEVABLE FAITH
                  ***************************
    An impecunious woman with a small family called in to a radio station seeking succor from God. An oofy heathen who was also listening to the radio programme thought of making fun of the woman for her faith on God. He procured her address,summoned his trusted flunkey and commanded him to cop large amount of victuals and take them to the woman.
   However, he sent it with the following instruction," When the woman asks who sent the nosh, tell her it is from the devil." When the flunkey arrived at the woman's shanty, the woman felt herself on cloud nine and was grateful for the help that had been received.
   She gleefully started stacking the food inside her shanty. The flunkey asked her," Don't you want to know who sent the stuff?" The woman replied,"No. I don't even care because when the God enjoins, even the devil obeys!" 
***************************************************(DEVENDRA SRIVASTAVA)
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Satyam Shivam Sundaram: T H E S L Y D O C T O R

Satyam Shivam Sundaram: T H E S L Y D O C T O R:                                               (Jai ma kali)              THE SLY DOCTOR            *******************   Once upon a time...